San Diego, Hos!

Jul. 21st, 2025 03:41 pm
missizzy: (jessiejames)
[personal profile] missizzy
I mostly packed this morning, before going off to the dentist, which I had to get the next part of a deep cleaning divided up even further than usual after I had a bad reaction to the anesthetic back in March, and I'm afraid I didn't cope with it especially well today, either. Preparations this time around also included making sure I was logged into both Ticketmaster and and the United app on my iPad; I really am going to try to buy that live show ticket while on the plane tomorrow. I also dug into the various piles of fancier masks in the bathroom and did locate two I'm fairly certain are unused for said plane rides, and handwashed my two Critical Role ones to wear when I'm actually at the con. They are not yet packed; they're still drying, last I checked.
I'll be making and eating dinner with my mom, and I'll be heading over to my sister's place to overnight with her and her husband as I did last year; once again we'll be headed to the airport at a very early hour.

ups and downs.

Jul. 18th, 2025 10:46 pm
hafnia: Animated drawing of a flickering fire with a pair of eyes peeping out of it, from the film Howl's Moving Castle. (Default)
[personal profile] hafnia
This week at work was not worth talking about.

Yesterday, I got into my car after I got off-shift, sat down in the driver's seat, and just bawled for a solid five minutes. Sitting in the fab parking lot, crying like a little kid that just dropped their ice cream. Stress release, I guess?

Anyway.

That's the most you're going to get about that, suppose.

(It's not worth talking about — a lot of "things aren't working because of factors that are beyond my control" combined with "but people think it should be under my control", and that's just a fucking miserable place to be. Eventually it will either be determined that there is fuck-all I can do to make e.g. certain shit work, because God Themself could not do it, or I will leave to "run an errand" and simply never come back. Both are acceptable at this point.)


My car is apparently paid off? I know because I got a call today from the bank asking where they could send the title to. The address they had on file was evidently incorrect.

(I bought it in late November 2021, so when we were still living in the duplex in the north of town, oops.)

I gave them the address, the title guy went, "congratulations!", and...that was that, I guess? I am now the full owner of a '22 Hyundai Elantra SE. Of course, with the job stuff, my brain immediately goes to, "so if you need to, you can sell it and that's a few months' worth of mortgage payments!" — but, you know. (Truly, things would have to be very dire for a period of roughly TWO YEARS before I had to go, "ACK" and think about e.g. selling the car, but lizard brain does what lizard brain does, I suppose.)

This does mean I'm out of debt save for the mortgage, which is a nice feeling, I guess? (Well, and the balance currently on my credit card — I put everything on it, so therapy, groceries, all the utility bills for the house, etc — it's at about $1100 right now — but I also pay it off at the end of each month because fuck paying interest.)

It occurs to me that with the car paid off my expenses for living pretty "extravagantly" (getting takeout like 1x/week, buying myself coffee on Fridays and Sundays, purchasing 1-2 ebooks per month) are back down to ~$2000/month, with two thirds of that being my half of the mortgage and bills.

Weird.


Today at work was fine. I was alone in the lab, which was great. Got coffee (FRIDAY RITUAL), came in around 9, worked on only what I wanted to work on. Actually managed to get something maybe working? which was a surprise to me, but oh, well.

Week ended on a high note. Did some metrology and data analysis, uploaded everything, drove home. At the house Max let me know that he'd ordered pizza from the new place that just opened literally two blocks away from us, and when I said, "so...we're sticking with the plan I made last week?" (to eat pizza from there and watch "Sinners"), nodded.

Said that we ought to pick up the stuff to do Aperol spritzes, so we did (we didn't have soda water! we usually do! somehow that was the only thing we were missing!), grabbed the pizza, came back, fed the cats, and —

Okay, so apparently he did not know anything about "Sinners". I filled him in on what little I knew (vampires, 1930s Mississippi, Michael B. Jordan plays a pair of twins), and we watched it.

No spoilers, but y'all, it was wonderful.

I think I can best sum it up with the following exchange:

MAX: You know, I really liked [STYLISTIC CHOICE], but I found [SPECIFIC PART] anachronistic. Like, damn, they almost had it.

five minutes later...

ME: So do you understand why they included [SPECIFIC PART]?

MAX, completely and utterly stunned: I take that back, I should have let him cook.

(I love the reviews going, "this felt like two different movies to me", like — it was clear as fucking day what the story was and how it tied together, and if you paid even a millisecond of attention, you got it. It's a movie that rewards careful watching, for sure. LOVED the midcredits scene, too ♥ )


Tomorrow we are going WINE TASTING with my LOCAL QUEER FRIENDS, which is A THING, but I get to WALK TO THIS ONE, so if I get WINE DRUNK at 4pm, it'll be FINE.

Probably. :)


As a final note I suppose I should say, the work-in-progress noted as point 1 of this entry has been split into three parts.

Part 1 ended (without any editing!) at 131710 words.

Part 2 is at the midpoint (roughly), and sitting at 65059 words.

Apparently all it take for me to write like there's no tomorrow is for someone to go, "what about...", at which point I will go, "OH YEAH" and write literally 100k words in a month.

Well then.

(Are they good words? I mean, it's a rough draft and it's being written incredibly fast, so it has all the plot and structure of hot wet jello, as my mentor liked to say when I was in graduate school, but I'm having fun and the sole person reading it is also enjoying it, so.)

(no subject)

Jul. 18th, 2025 07:43 pm
missizzy: (jessiejames)
[personal profile] missizzy
This was a week where a huge part of my motivation to push through it was the knowledge that next week I will be in San Diego. We've already started putting our schedules together. I had honestly resigned myself to the Critical Role panels likely being on Friday and Saturday, and so was very delighted when I learned they were both on Thursday, when I can go. Though I do wonder what those doing the scheduling were thinking, having the second in Ballroom 20 only an hour and a half after the first one gets out! I suppose I shall not be eating lunch that day...
Also, what those responsible for scheduling the tickets sales for next years live shows were thinking, having all the sales the same week as Comic Con! I'm probably going to try to get tickets for the one in Atlanta anyway, since that's the one it's feasible for me to attend.
The week also got better when my meds finally showed up on Tuesday. I am now back at full dosage and will remain so for the immediate future, though I'm starting to wonder if it might be worth trying to get a doctor's appointment related to a couple of the problems it's supposed to treat.

(no subject)

Jul. 13th, 2025 03:31 pm
missizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] missizzy
This was one of those weeks in our household. Events included my mother's consultation over her denture, which now won't be fixed until mid-August at the earliest, and her computer getting hit by a very scary virus, albeit one the IT people were able to remove very quickly once they remoted in. Meanwhile, I spent it trying to get a second refill of my bentyl after the I failed to get the first, even though the USPS website claimed it had been delivered. The way the post office has been going lately, I would have much rather gone to pick it up in person, but that proved impossible when Kaiser has no pharmacies open on weekends closer than Woodbridge! I got the email saying it shipped today, and I just have to hope it actually shows up this time. I've had to reduce my doses, and I'm currently trying to figure out the results of that.
I spent the weekend watching Wimbledon. I ended up turning off the ladies singles final, because that was just painful, but enjoyed the men's and both doubles finals.
blueshiftofdeath: phoenix wright tapping his documents of evidence (paper)
[personal profile] blueshiftofdeath

Top Secret!, by the creators of Airplane!, is a parody of WWII movies and "Elvis" movies, in which the Elvis-like American protagonist, Nick Rivers, stumbles into being a hero that helps the resistance against East German fascist regime.

(Feel free to go watch Top Secret! and then return to this post.)

One of my and [personal profile] ebaths's favorite scenes in Top Secret! is one in which Nick is captured and tortured by the regime. In the middle of his torture, Nick passes out and has a nightmare that he's "back in (high) school" and missed all of his finals. Then he wakes up to the real life torture, realizes it was a dream, and says, "Thank god!"

This great little sequence clocks in at under a minute in length!

It's funny because of the delivery (I love the out-of-it performance of the dream classmate), the familiarity of the dream (I couldn't find any statistics on how many people have this dream, but it's incredibly common even after graduation, and there are multiple articles on the subject; here's one I found just now), and the absurdity of Nick preferring getting beaten over the mundane and relatively harmless scenario in which he missed his exams.

I think part of the humor also comes from how true it rings. It's absurd that Nick would prefer getting beaten, but in some way also very real. To me the scene, though comedic, is a fantastic illustration of how human experiences are all determined by how we see them. This is often brought up in the context of how we can change our views, and I think less often in the context of how aging changes our world and therefore the way we perceive events-- the latter of which is particularly relevant to Nick Rivers's high school nightmare.

It's easy to forget how little you know as a child; for example, kids often need to have concepts like death explicitly laid out for them since it's not something they'd pick up on their own, whereas as an adult the existence of death (at least in its most abstract form) is second nature. With knowledge so limited, your world is easily defined by the adults around you. They might introduce you to religious concepts or the idea of something like Santa Claus, and though later you may reconsider your beliefs, as a kid typically these concepts are easily absorbed into your idea of reality.

Ideas around school fall into this category. If you're given the sense that you "must" get certain grades, or complete certain milestones (like taking final exams) or else your life is over, then that'll become your reality. Later on, after graduation, you'll likely realize that failing or missing exams don't end your life, even if they cause a lot of stress and extra headaches. In retrospect, the stress of needing to pass your chemistry final may seem almost trivial. Even if the event of "missing your chemistry final" doesn't change, your experience of the event (in terms of your emotions leading up to and following the event) can change if your perception of the world changes.

In the movie, Nick Rivers is a suave, unnaturally "chill" guy, ready to roll with it as he suddenly has to start risking his life. You can imagine that he's seen enough at this point to realize that whatever happens, he can probably make it work, and if not... he's enjoyed his life enough to not freak out too much over the end of it all. But as a teenager, he wouldn't have had acquired this life experience; it seems he was likely relatively sheltered (also funny) and like so many of us, had his brain trapped in the world (perhaps unintentionally) constructed by his parents and teachers-- a world where he had no way of seeing beyond the apparent horizon of doom that was missing his final exams.

So while being imprisoned and physically tortured is definitely worse than missing your final exams, it makes sense for Nick to find torture more tolerable than the dream-- because in the dream, he's not only living out the scenario of missing the exams, he's also re-living the mental state of being in high school. He's been reverted to the him that has no way of knowing that school isn't life or death, and has no sense of how much control he really has over his own life or how many opportunities still lay ahead.

Put another way, the high school nightmare represents not a single situation (such as being in school or missing exams) but a different world (mentally living in a reality in which you have no agency and you perceive that any misstep will be catastrophic). Though the "torture" situation of reality is less desirable than the "missed exam" situation of the nightmare, perception is what defines experience, and Nick naturally welcomes back the world of reality (in which he is an adult that sees near-infinite options for his future) compared to the world of the nightmare (previously described).

(no subject)

Jul. 8th, 2025 11:46 am
pshaw_raven: (Pumpkin)
[personal profile] pshaw_raven
Now I know I'm starting to feel better. I'm obsessing over curry.
Specifically I want lamb vindaloo from Persis on Baymeadows Road. Five out of five chili peppers. "Are you sure you want it that hot?" Light me up, my man.
pshaw_raven: (Good Medicine)
[personal profile] pshaw_raven
I probably should have updated before now, but I've been down with some sort of mystery illness. I started feeling vaguely unwell on Wednesday, and by Thursday afternoon I was feeling truly awful. I've been running a temperature this entire time, and that's been about the only thing I can tell you. I don't seem to have any symptoms, and fever isn't a symptom. Well, right now my ears feel strange, a little like there's cotton in them, or perhaps like when you go swimming and get a little water trapped in there.

Anyway, the only thing I've done all this time is try to rest. I was already exhausted by it on Friday but I feel utterly depleted now. All I have been able to do is try to remember to drink water. I haven't even been able to sustain enough focus to read. Sunday was probably the worst day, because I couldn't actually sleep, but didn't have the energy to do anything, so I sat on the couch and stared into space, or I laid in bed and stared into space. That was extra special fun since my brain took that opportunity to cook up every single worst-case scenario it could.

This morning my AM temperature was on par with pre-crud readings, but I plan to keep taking advil for a while. The body pain that came with this thing was horrifying and I really don't want that to come back. I also managed to perform two tasks without needing to rest in between. I'm finding my mind is clearer and my ability to focus is returning, so I've been trying to catch up on what's happened that's important - and I mean around here, like one of the tomato plants died, and Fox has applied insecticide to my hibiscus because they had aphids. I've also missed some virtual book club posts, haven't written anything, I have no bread, and I need to find out how my neighbor's daughter did in that 5k she wanted to run in. I just don't want to go near the neighbor and possibly give her and her whole family whatever I have.

“Darkness took me and I strayed away through thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead and every day was as long as a life age of the earth... But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back until my task is done."

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